After much wailing and gnashing of teeth, along with curse words muttered a little too audibly under my breath, I seem to have found a workaround for my photo problem and thus I present number seventeen on the 52 in 52 list; 'Get a new iPhone'. We kind of cheated on this one, since we were planning to save up like the clever, responsible creatures we are and buy one outright to use with a pre-paid SIM. Instead, after spending all of our money on boring rent and bills and food month after month after month (yawn), and since I'd been without a phone all that time, we decided to get one on a post-paid contract, which is a little nerve-wracking given that Doot will be studying (and working) again this year, so we know we have another lean year ahead. Thankfully I now have a shiny new iPhone to console me and keep me warm through the dark days. It should also be noted that cheating and the creative revision of goals is encouraged in this endeavour (the one I like to call 'life'). 'Realistic' and 'practical' are like mantras around here (along with 'Don't throw that!' and 'What's that brown thing on the floor?').
Incidentally, I also bought that mirror last week (it was a cheap one from Aldi), which is not the most thrilling news, I know (especially since it doesn't appear on any lists anywhere...sigh...), but that's the first full length mirror I've owned since Ni was a baby and I had one turned on its side for her enjoyment. For years my subtle self talk went along the lines of, 'If you buy a mirror, that means that you want to look at yourself, which in turn implies that you think you're worth looking at and then people will laugh at you and your delusion.' And obviously when you write it out like that and prop it up on a solid frame of words, it seems ridiculous, but when it's just a little grey worm whispering away in your mind, that has been there whispering away forever and ever, it's just one of a seemingly infinite number of things that you have to learn, with some effort, to question. If I did not have a toddler leaving her sweet little baby body behind for a more advanced model and a big girl on the cusp of the amazing process of growing into her womanhood, I'd probably still be squinting at myself in the shaving mirror in the bathroom.
Then, of course, there's the fraught question of what I actually see (or don't see) when I look in that mirror. That's a whole other blog post, I think. And we'd better just skip right over the shame and embarrassment that has to be overcome in order to even take a photo of myself, let alone stick it up on the Internet. Eeep!
I know that most of us have to recover from our childhoods and the failings of the adults in our lives at some point, but I desperately hope that I'm paving an easier road for my daughters.
Here's a photo of Lyra and I playing Extreme Incy Wincy.
I'm not sure what the rules are, but they seem to involve singing the song then attacking your mama with the giant plastic spider you got from the museum (that you like far better than the lovely white and purple agate that mama bought for you).
No doubt you'll be subjected to my burgeoning love affair with the iPhone 4S' wonderful camera (with a little added enhancement for the above photo). I probably shouldn't have clicked over to Photojojo for that link, since I found this and am now wondering how much we could get for the spoodle and the children's toys on eBay.